Let me show you a piece of me …a piece of me you can’t handle, piece of me in the midst..
Ones who know say its dark nor its fallen from the ark. No one (Noah) showed me purity but no perfumes nor curfews would make me like you.
Let me Give you an ounce or a pound of how I got there with a sheep and a goat on a boat.
My journey began with everyday piercing my heart…It turned to a hole and nothing would stay as it grew colder.
Everytime I tried to avoid it, it was like there was a jist in the mist that i kept on misfiring on…I had to set my facts straight and be on that slate.
“A mind is a powerful thing, it can convince you to see things that are not there” True it got me lucified ,thoughts of a good life swelling and I was dwelling on the dark bars.
Temptation seemed lucrative but I faced agony head on, just like Moses who went to rescue the Israelites in Egypt with nothing but the knowledge that God was with him and would be with him throughout the journey, I went to the world of the unknown with nothing but hope that my journey will not be in vain and that I’ll find the answers I was searching for but again like the letters that Moses wrote which we never got to see nor read , everything became a mystery.
I was like the prodigal son, who came back with nothing after he had left home to be on his own with so much wealth, I guess some things in life are better left off as they are.
Life Hannah who used to go to the temple to pour her heart out, that people started saying she had been drinking wine because every time she’d go to the temple, her eyes would be filled with tears that people started thinking she was drinking
but what they didn’t know was that she was pouring her heart to her Master, asking just for one miracle, ,a son.
Although my story is a little different from Hannah’s, my tears were those of deliverance, I was not desperate for a son nor a miracle but all I needed were answers to the questions I had, but just like Moses who went with God to see the “Promise Land” (the land filled with milk and honey, where streets were made of Gold and there was no pain and suffering ), he never came back and no one but God knows what happened to him and as much as there were never signs of a grave there were theories that God must’ve killed him but the God I believe in is not a killer .
So like Moses, I went to the “Promise Land” but I also never came back alive, it was not my physical being that had died but my spiritual being that left and never left a mark. Was it love? Or just another feeling one tends to have?
I can’t answer all these questions I have for I don’t have any of the answers but I’ll keep questioning with hopes that one day I’ll finally find all that I need to and maybe my mind and heart will finally be at ease.
I wonder how long will this journey of searching be and where will it take me and if I’ll love what I find when I get there, the mind is a powerful thing, it makes you believe things that aren’t there and the heart is a powerful, it makes you feel things that are not there but what about the eyes? They make us see things, which is better, being deaf or being blind? Which one would I choose? I’d choose them all for I don’t wanna be deaf nor blind because I’d love to see just as I’d love to hear but now I’m just a lost soul that needs to be found not.